// KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON.//

after the day i have had im trying to keep as calm as possible.

bath, bed , music and girly girly shit is going down tonight. making me miss my childhood and my grandmas house. 

God i love her so much.

// BPD//

(if anyone is reading this sorry about the spelling I am shitty)

I got diagnoised with Boardline Personality disorder today, I have been struggling since i was 11 when my parents split up but i think i have been indenial about everything since then. 

I was raped 18 months ago 

and 3 years ago my grandma died 

I am turning 20 this year and I want my life to start properly i want to move out and i want to have my own flat more than anything else in the world. i wouldnt even care if it was a show box of a flat as long as it was mine.

im on a million waiting lists and i was recently in hospital was fucking horrible but i needed to be there. 

tonight i feel like i need to be in the hospital feel so so so unstable and want to self harm so much. resisting is making my head hurt 

i cannot sleep 

i dont know if i should ring the crisis team or go get my mum or what i should do. 

its to late to call anyone .

feeling very alone 

my chest hurts. 

lovely panic attack happening yay. 

// OP5GKymbkihtbnmtr;e’`\//

cannot cope with the emptiness i feel.